I’m scared that I’m giving up.

Part of writing this blog for me is also facing my fears and coming to terms with certain situations in my life. I’ve been unemployed for a while now and lately I’ve been receiving negative news a lot. I won’t lie, this has been discouraging me for a while and I sometimes feel a bit depressed. I look at my experiences and qualifications and think: why not me? Why am I not being picked and all that and it’s been taking a toll on me. I sometimes even think of giving up. Why shouldn’t l? Its not like things are going my way.

We all go through that right? We all get these moments when we feel sad for ourselves. When things don’t go our way we want to quit. We only see the negative things around us and sometimes they are overwhelming. It’s hard to find the positive in situations whereby your bursary application has been declined, job application, university application and even downloading applications gets declined. It’s hard to see the silver lining when you are in the middle of a storm. Rejection makes us want to give up.

I’m scared that I want to give up. I’m scared that when I do give up I’m going to feel sorry for myself and blame the world for all my decisions and misfortune. Isn’t that what usually happens anyway? A person gives up on anything and then spiral into a deep depression, throw a pity party and blame the world for their misery. Nope, I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to sit at home and feel sorry for myself. I don’t want to become a burden. You know as I type this I realise that I feel like giving up but the thought of giving up scares me.

Honestly, hope of getting that job I want is what gets me up in the morning. I look at myself and my family and think this can’t be it. That’s because deep down I know that there is more for me out there. I guess as human beings, hope is what gets us up in the morning and is the reason why we keep doing the things we do for the betterment of our lives, because we know and we can feel that there is more that life has to offer. There is more for us out there and that alone is enough for us to keep pushing and not giving up.

Giving up is so easy and tempting. Sometimes situations trick us into believing that things are worse than they seem. A few job rejection letters can make you feel like you are not good enough and no one will hire you, that bursary rejection note can make you feel like you will never get to further your studies and in those moments all you see is negativity.The saddest thing about all that is that giving up is so easy that all you have to do is quit. Quitting takes away all the pain of rejection but quitting comes with regret.

I’ve thought about it and again, the price for giving up seems too great. What if at that very moment that I decide to give up, I miss an interview with one of the companies I want to be a part of? What if you give up on something and yet you are so close to its break through? It’s not easy nor is it fun to keep getting rejected but maybe that means you and I should reflect on what we have been doing for so long and try to change the formula. As I write this I’m not only writing for you but I’m also talking to myself. I can’t give up. I just can’t.

Moral of the post
Giving up is easy. You don’t have to do much, all you have to do is just stop. Stop doing all that you have been doing, stop loading data or getting up in the morning to look for a job, stop looking and applying for college or university. Just stop. However when you do, you must be prepared for a life of sadness, depression and regret. It’s normal to feel like giving up when things don’t go our way but that doesn’t mean we should. When things don’t go our way, we must keep pushing. It won’t be winter all year, seasons change and one day it will be summer.

Remember, Live, Love, Learn and be Happy.

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