LESSONS FROM 2018

When the year ends we always focus on what could’ve been or what should’ve happened. We usually sum up the end of a year with all the bad things that happened to us and rarely look at the good too. I’m saying this because I’m also guilty of it. I found myself reflecting on 2018 as the worst year ever but in truth so was 2017,2016 and so on and so forth. The truth is every year has its challenges and that’s what life is, life is about challenges.

I found myself looking at all the people and things I lost, missed opportunities, things I could’ve done better and how I let myself down. I kept on beating myself up over all that and I know I’m not alone in this. Every year we make resolutions and have all these expectations but when things don’t go our way we sulk, give up and close the year off as the worst.

In truth no one can say they’ve had the best year, they just managed to make the best of the year and that’s what we should do. Take each day as it comes, live, learn and move on.

Yes 2018 was a tough year but it was also a good year in its own way. I learned a lot in 2018 and I’d like to share what I learned with you.

1. NOTHING LASTS FOREVER.

It can be pain, happiness, loss, change or whatever you are going through. It doesn’t last forever. Situations come and go, seasons change, we cry and we laugh, we lose and we gain. It’s all a part of life. It’s not permanent, so you must experience it, live it and and learn from it.

2. THERE IS A LESSON SOMEWHERE

When something bad happens we always cry and shut down but that shouldn’t always be the case. Sometimes there is a lesson in situations we go through and all we need to is open our eyes and try to find the lesson in whatever we are going through.

3. ITS OKAY TO FEEL BAD SOMETIMES

I bet even Batman feels lousy once in a while. Nobody is perfect and we need to understand that. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, emotional or any negative emotion out there. Life gets us down and it will get us down so it’s okay to feel bad. You can’t be jolly and full of smiles when you fail an exam or find out your puppy died. Feel whatever emotion you are going through and after all that pull yourself together.

4. SOMETIMES A LOSS ISN’T A LOSS

I know it doesn’t make sense but trust me, sometimes a loss is a gain. Losing bad friends is not a loss, letting go of toxic relationships and people in life is not a loss, losing anything that doesn’t benefit you is not a loss at all. It’s all good, you gained something. You might not feel like it but letting go of bad things will do you good.

5. YOU ARE YOUR OWN HINDRANCE

I won’t get much into this because our situations are not the same but sometimes the end result is always the same. Sometimes you want to try something or go somewhere but you can’t because you have mixed feelings or you are not too sure or you are scared and you experience all those emotions that stop you from actually doing something. That’s you stopping yourself from living and possibly your breakthrough, stop self doubting and just go with it.

6. COMFORT IS DANGEROUS

Being too comfortable in any situation is dangerous because it can stop you from doing anything. You get so comfortable in a situation that you don’t see when it’s detrimental. Get out of your comfort zone and you will achieve many things. You can never lose anything because it’s all about learning.

7. MOVE ON

There is no point in focusing on the past and what should’ve or could’ve been. If it happened, it happened and if it didn’t then it didn’t so move on and stop holding on to ghosts of the past.

8. SET REALISTIC GOALS

It’s awesome to have goals, goals are why we get up in the morning. We aspire to be someone, we hope to achieve something, we want to amount to something and we can only do so with goals. Goals help us achieve our dreams, so that’s why they must be realistic. You can’t wake up in the morning and say your goal is to be a different race. That’s just insane. Set goals that you can and will achieve, set goals that are realistic and will get you to where you want to be in life.

9. IT’S OKAY TO BE SELFISH

I always say this to my friends, it’s okay to be selfish with yourself, time and emotion. Sometimes you need to invest in yourself, take time out just for you to focus on you. It’s okay to want to be alone and focus on your career or hobby or whatever really. You don’t have to please everyone.

10. LOVE YOURSELF TO INFINITY AND BEYOND.

I can’t stress this enough, LOVE YOURSELF. It doesn’t matter whether you are big or small, fat or thin, whether you have scars or not or whether you are rich or poor. Nobody is ever going to love you as much as you love yourself so you might as well do it and do it to the fullest.

Happy 2019.

Live, Love, Learn and be Happy.

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People will use you and abuse you. Learn

Imagine this, you want to eat cereal but you are out of milk, what do you do? You go to the shop, you buy milk and pay the shopkeeper his money. You get home and enjoy your cereal with milk. This is a mutually beneficial relationship. You didn’t take the milk and leave or the shopkeeper didn’t demand money without giving you your milk. This relationship is the type that you need in your life. A relationship in which you get something that benefits you and so does the other person. You can’t be in a one sided relationship. You can’t keep giving and giving and giving until there is nothing left to give. The other person can’t keep demanding and taking and asking all the time. That’s selfish and not only that but it’s toxic to you.

We all need each other, no man is an island. Even the richest person out there needs someone to share their riches with. We are human and we depend on each other, even for the smallest things. Thus we form relationships, however we need to be careful of the same relationships that we form. You need to know what you are getting from someone as much as you know what you are giving to them.

There are certain relationships or rather people you need to stay away from. You need to stay away from people who take advantage of you. People tend to use others and take advantage of them for various reasons. Sometimes it’s to feel superior and dominate them. This type of person you should beware of because they are bullies and you don’t need a bully in your life. Being bullied is not only physical, it can also be emotional. A person can make you do things you don’t want or say nasty things to you all the time. They can also make you smile and make you happy temporarily.

It doesn’t matter if they make you smile for five seconds. A smile for a few seconds is nothing compared to smiling for a life time because you are with the right person. You need to let go of such people who use and bully you emotionally and physically.

The worst thing about keeping people who use you around is that even if you tell them how you feel they will either act innocent, ask for forgiveness and repeat it all over again. These people are manipulative, they can lie, cheat and even charm their way out of any situation. It’s like being with a cheating boyfriend. When you confront him he will play the victim, lie, tell you what you want to hear and continue cheating. You can’t have that in your life. It’s unhealthy and you are not growing in such a relationship.

Sometimes you need to look at the situation and weigh your options. You can either stay with a person who will continue to abuse you and you will feel crappy about yourself or you can let go and cut off all toxic people in your life and grow as an individual. It’s all up to you.