My teacher once asked me what my biggest fear in life was and I said failure. No, I didn’t mean failing tests or grades, I meant failure as in failure to be anything or achieve anything in life. Side note, my classmates looked at me like I was crazy because ‘normal’ people are scared of snakes, heights and all that is visible and rational. Oh yeah, back to the post: I carried this for a long time and looking back, I realise that fear of failure held me back. I know I’m not the only one with a fear people think is irrational and crazy but that’s what fear is: it’s irrational and crazy.
It’s sad because I let fear of failure stop me from doing anything in life. I don’t know how to swim and I’m scared I’ll fail at it so I don’t go near any swimming pool. I’m good with people and crowds but I didn’t engage with people because I was scared that I wouldn’t sound smart or wouldn’t fit in so I became a loner. Everything I didn’t do or had fear of doing, I didn’t do because I didn’t want to be bad at it or fail at it. Looking back now I realise that I let a lot of things pass me by and I didn’t live to the fullest because I was scared I wouldn’t be good at it. I locked myself up in a prison of fear.
If you (whoever is reading this) would look at my blog record you’d see that I started this blog in 2015 but the amount of posts I have don’t show that and the reason is because I was scared no one would read my posts, no one would comment or I didn’t know what I was talking about. I was scared and writing this post now I realise that I held myself back. Truth is, had I faced my fears head on then I’d be better by now. I’d be a better writer, I’d have more followers and honestly I would’ve faced my fear a long time ago. I guess I had to see now, how this fear of failure paralysed me.
Fear, any fear is a prison. We lock ourselves up in fear of the unknown that we don’t reach our full potential and we stop living. This blog for me is just one foot out of that prison. If I didn’t fear failure maybe I would’ve achieved more than I know, maybe my life wouldn’t be the way it is and maybe a lot of things. I can’t know for sure because I gave into fear and I’m not the only one. Fear stops us from progress really, we get scared of falling in love, of having fun, of starting something because we are afraid it won’t work but the sad truth is that not doing anything is the worst form of punishment.
Fear feeds off itself. If you become too afraid to do anything then you are not going to do anything in life. You won’t know love, you won’t write anything, you won’t get to climb the highest mountain. Another thing about fear is that it leads to regrets. You end up living a life filled with bitterness and regret because you couldn’t master up the courage to just do it (I think I’m in love with the Nike slogan now more than ever). You end up resenting other people and being bitter about their success for doing what you should’ve done but didn’t because you were too afraid.
Moral of the post
We all have fears but that doesn’t mean we should let fear rule our lives. Fear stops us from living and reaching our full potential. It steals from us and if we continue to lock ourselves in the prison of fear then we stop ourselves from reaching our goals. We end up resenting others and being bitter because they are doing what we could do if we weren’t so scared. So we must find the courage to face our fears if we want to live lives without regret.
Remember live, love, learn and be happy