Having conversations about addiction.

So this is a follow up post to The battle against addiction. I know addiction is not an easy topic to bring to the table. You can’t actually go “Hey mom and dad, I’m addicted to cocaine, can you please pass the salt.” It’s not that simple. Maybe that’s why it’s such an issue, nobody is willing to talk about it, nobody is willing to put themselves out there. People would rather live a facade of a life hiding behind suffering and lack of control over life because they are afraid of what somebody else might say. Not that I blame them, I mean the society we live in can be pretty judgemental.

It’s easy to judge a junkie sleeping on the sidewalk. “Why would she leave her home? Who told him to do drugs? She is filthy, he is a thief, she is this and he is that”. It can also happen to a celebrity gambler, “How could he be so stupid? Doesn’t she have enough money? How could he lose? Why this, why that”. Everyone is passing judgement. I can already hear the judgements on that sex addict. “That’s disgusting, is that even a real thing? Is he that stupid? What a loser”. Even if people don’t say these things out loud, they still think them. So how does the conversation even start?

People need to understand that addiction is a problem, it’s bondage and most of all its a sickness. Addicts are sick. That inability to function without a drug, that excessive watching of porn, that need to gamble every time you have a buck, that’s a problem. It’s an illness. Addiction takes away your control over things and if you can’t control yourself then what of managing life situations? The minute people learn more about addiction, how to deal with addicts and how to treat them will be a stepping stone into starting conversations about it and a huge step in the right direction.

See, addiction is not only a personal problem. It’s not a problem or a situation that only affects the addict but it affects those around the addict too. Living with an addict is not easy, it means caring for them, making sure that they don’t harm themselves or others, keeping them on the right side of the law and being there for them at all times. If an addict steals then that’s breaking the law, if the addict is into body harm then they can hurt themselves, if the addict is an alcoholic or abuses certain substances then they might hurt others. That’s where it stops being a personal problem.

Addiction is not only dangerous to the addict but to those around as well. That’s why people need to stop tip toeing around the situation and face it head on. They need to talk about it, face it and take control of it. It’s not easy but it is important. Not talking about the situation only makes it worse. Choosing not to see or acknowledge the situation for what it is does not mean it does not exist. Addiction is a pain to all involved and the only way to heal is to take the necessary steps such as rehab and make sure that the patient knows that there are those who care about them.

Moral of the post.
People should make it a point to start talking about their addiction and those demons they are battling. The society also needs to be less judgmental and more lenient when it comes to dealing with sensitive matters such as addiction. Addicts are sick and thus should be taken care off and loved like any other person with any illness.

Remember, Live, Love, Learn and be Happy.

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Why do we always need a Batman to save us?

Why does Gotham City need Batman, why does New York City need Spidey? Why do we need heroes? Why do we need someone to save us? Why is it that we always want someone to hold our hands? Why is it that we can’t do somethings for ourselves? Why? We always need to be pushed, we need to be told what to do and how to do it. Even if we know what to do we just need someone to tell us to do it. Why can’t we just do things ourselves? Why not just pick the broom up and sweep the floor without waiting for your mom to tell you to do it? Why not buy the grocery instead of hoping someone else will do it?

I sometimes get angry at myself when I look at all that I could’ve done instead of waiting for someone to tell me I can do it. I know I can do it, I have the capabilities to do it, I’m just lazy. I know I’m not the only one. You just sit there and think “starting my own logistics company would work, I know I’m good and transport management and I know where to start but…’. You always think or come up with great ideas but you never implement them and that’s the problem. Imagine if you were to get up and start that company by yourself without needing someone to tell you “hey that’s a very good idea.” Of course it’s a good idea, its just that you are so lazy that you are waiting for someone one to give you that company. Oh brother. No, I’m not judging harshly because I’ve been in that very same boat. We just need to get up. That’s it.

Imagine if Gotham city had no Batman, Gotham would probably still have crime but the police and other law enforcement officials would do their jobs. Police wouldn’t be lazying around eating donuts and taking breaks because they know that Batman is on it. The same way you don’t need someone to tell you to do something because you know you are able. You’ve got this.

When people offer to do things for us we often take advantage of it and ultimately feel that the person was supposed to do what they did even if it was our responsibility. We feel entitled. We have no sense of gratitude. Gotham believes that Batman should be out there looking for criminals, which is not the case. Batman could also be sitting at home, drinking his very expensive drinks. He doesn’t have to save anyone.

Once upon a time I also thought I needed someone to help me, someone to save me. Why couldn’t I just get up and save myself? Even if I would’ve failed, the point would be that I tried. Sometimes as a person you just need to be honest with yourself and do it for yourself. I’m not saying don’t ask for help, no. I’m just saying try it on your own and see how it goes before you depend on others.

We all have our own things to deal with and as much as we would like to help others , we first need to help ourselves. We need to gather up the courage to start a business instead of hoping someone will hire us. We must just master the courage to speak to that special someone with dimples and that oh so charming smile instead of sending our friends over to do it. In this life people can be there for you and at some point people can leave you. There are many reasons why people leave. That’s not what I’m focusing on. What I’m trying to show you is that people don’t always need to be with you or they won’t always be with you . One day you will be on your own. The question is when your support system leaves you one day how will you survive? How will you know that you need to cross your t’s and dot your i’s. If you are so used to people doing things for you when will you ever do anything for yourself. When will you grow up?

Trust me if I had my own Batman to fix every single mess I’ve made then I’d be the happiest person around but I’d also be the most useless person around too. What would I be good at? How would ie know my talents ? How would I learn from any mistake and how would I make mistakes in the first place because as long as Batman is there I wouldn’t need to do anything. I’d just need to breathe.

Heroes are good for a certain period in time. The same way as asking for help. You can only ask for so much. You can’t keep asking for help on things you know and you are good at. Yes, you can ask for advice and listen to certain opinions and even put those to work. That doesn’t mean you should become a leech.

Save yourself once in a while . Be independent , take a chance, fall off and get back up. I always do my happy dance when I’ve actually completed or achieved something on my own. So imagine doing your own happy dance when you finally achieve something without being nagged, pushed or better yet, without Batman. There is nothing wrong with asking for help but there is also nothing wrong with doing it yourself. Who knows you might also develop your own happy dance.